Children are inherently trusting when they are born. But they begin losing that natural trust if they are repeatedly betrayed by people around them and are exposed to pain. This creates self-doubt in their minds and can develop into a deep aversion to getting hurt. For many people, a lack of trust is an avoidance of pain. When children go through these experiences early on in life, it can leave an imprint in their minds which they carry forward into their adulthood. It is this fractured trust which many people take into relationships.
However, lack of trust is not always a pre-existing condition. It can be actually created in the relationship when one partner is not living true to their promises and demonstrating their trust in the other partner through their actions. So when grappling with issues of trust in your relationship, it is also important to determine whether your mistrust was a pre-existing condition or something that developed in the relationship due to the actions of you or your partner.
There are many other causes of mistrust in relationships such as addiction and money issues. If your partner is not being transparent about their financial situation for example, then mistrust can set in. The question you are likely to ask is: “What else are they hiding?” Once you begin questioning your partner’s intentions and commitment, it can take significant effort to save the relationship.