As a young man growing up, I had basic comfort at every point in time. I had a decent ‘cortina by Bata’ shoe like everyone else, I even had my kito and cross-trekkers sandals unlike our president who ‘had no shoes growing up’. Fast forward a few years and here I am, living thousands of miles away from home, working a decent job, living a rather decent life too. It was thanksgiving day for a few people on the 27th of this month and my old boys association decided to send me a mail extending warm greetings and the usual banter. The mail had a funny paragraph though, they told me not to bother returning the award I won earlier this year ‘most eligible bachelor’ because the foresee I will still be the one next year.
Sitting alone in my house I decided to write this to express my gratitude, while I’m thankful for life, family and the good people all around me, I decided to extend that gratitude to the inanimate things that have made my life much enjoyable this past few years.
My 3.0L V6 baby, you have made commuting very easy, you have protected me from the harsh sun and the constant rainfall in this city. The numerous potholes and flooded routes were no match for you. Through my early morning drive to work and my late night movements you have not for once broken down and left me stranded. Between the sounds from your speakers, the climate control and the heated leather seats you have served me comfortably and for that I’m thankful.
My refrigerator, microwave, juicer and dishwasher.
You have kept me properly nourished and taken care of my need to stay healthy. You all have worked together to achieve this. Special thanks to the microwave, many people try to paint you in a bad light, saying the healthy meals you give me can cause cancer and I ask them, what in the world does not cause cancer these days? I hear no reply.
My washing machine, drier and pressing iron.
You all have kept me good looking. You have saved me from the horror I lived through in boarding school where I had to bend my back washing clothes endlessly only to spread them in the hot sun and have rain ruin everything again. Once again, special thanks to the drier, Ignorant people will talk endlessly of how you shrink and damage clothes. I have used you for nearly 4 years now and all my clothes are still intact. It all boils down to getting the right settings.
My Tv, game console and sound system.
Though the years, you have kept me and my friends entertained. Never a dull moment with all of you. Oh and thanks for helping me disturb the neighbors whenever they piss me off.
My workout equipment.
You all give me a tough time, you have kept my organs fit and my body sculpted like a true roman. Thank you for not making me look like a baggage handler in the process.
Thanks for being there to sooth my aching body every single night when I get back home, the comfort of those sheets make me feel like pharaoh sometimes. With your big size I am constantly reminded of the need to get a permanent resident in here ‘I’m working on that’.
Now to all of you reading this, we all have more than a billion reasons to be thankful.
P.s to the doormat, thanks for keeping out the dirt.